


Mrs Kirk

by QueenoftheHobbits



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Accidental Marriage, F/M, based off of Mrs Reynolds episode of fireflky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 11:23:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11508396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenoftheHobbits/pseuds/QueenoftheHobbits
Summary: You and Jim get married. Accidentally. On a new federation planet. Without knowing about it. Turns out its legally binding. Fuck.





	1. Part 1

Part of the Enterprise’s job was to greet newly joined federation planets, to keep relations on good terms, and to ultimately do what they were told. That’s really how you found yourself in quite the predicament.

Xaxia was a new member of the federation, a little planet settled by human smugglers and traders. They had been very Anti-federation for quite a while and the change of hard took time, a lot of work and now they had finally joined the federation all bad blood put aside. The USS Enterprise, your ship (or rather Captain Kirk’s ship), was assigned to see, speak, and celebrate with the Xaxians (and to make sure everything was in order and there weren’t any federation rules being broken).

“Why do I have to come along? I’m just a nurse, Leonard!” Leonard had accosted you while you’d been working on an ensign’s burn and promptly told you that as your chief medical officer he demanded you go to ground with everyone and take part in the festivities.

“Because you’re getting grumpy.” Sure you were a little grumpy, but only because you kept getting put on long night shifts and for some reason ensigns can’t help but flirt with you when they find out you’re a nurse. It’s frustrating. You’re tired. You miss real food and sleep.

“Like you?”

“Yeah, like me. There can only be one grumpy medical personnel on the ship. That and you need a break, seriously.” Leonard might not ever say it but it was obvious he was concerned for you, as your officer and your friend. You appreciated it but you didn’t want to go to a strange planet to celebrate them joining the federation. You just wanted to sleep.

“Len…”

“The Captain will be there.”

“And?” The truth was you knew exactly why Leonard had brought that up. The Captain despite not knowing you very well always wanted you at things like this and would drag you their himself if he could…that and you might have admitted to finding the man attractive while you were drunk one time. But, that man seriously had eyes that were incomparable. How does anyone get eyes that blue?

“If he notices you’re not there he’ll come and drag you down himself.”

“Jim can be easily persuaded!”

“Not when he has to be there and wants to gawk at you all night.”

“He doesn’t gawk, he looks at me and looks at everyone.” There was no gawking or at least you told yourself there was no gawking. You told yourself that there was absolutely no gawking, that Jim Kirk did not stare at you. That he wasn’t at all attracted to you. He was your captain the two of you barely shared words. You were definitely not his type. Definitely not.

Or you tried to tell yourself that because while there weren’t any serious fraternisation rules, you really didn’t like how anxious you got around him when you even considered the prospect of him being interested.

It wasn’t a bad sort of anxious really, the type that made you a little excited and nervous, but you still found it unsettling to have someone change how you felt so easily.

Suffice to say you agreed to Leonard’s badgering and that’s how you found yourself on a strange planet, with fungus for trees and bright colours, at what was essentially a bonfire. People, Star fleet crew and Xaxians, were dancing round the flames and drinking from cups. You had to admit that it was nice; a warm fire, laughter in the air, real ground beneath your feet. Yeah, it was nice.

It was the sort of atmosphere that had you sitting on the bright pink grass, pulling what were the equivalent of earth daisies from the ground and threading them together. As a child making flower crowns from daises had been an art you had perfected and while you weren’t quite as good as you once had been you still found yourself managing to construct a rather good looking crown.

“Hey.” You looked up to see the captain, scrambling to your feet, “Captain!” You didn’t stand at attention despite the urge to seeing the looking he gave you.

“Call me Jim, please, how many times do I have to tell you?” You knew that he wanted you to call him Jim, but it hadn’t quite set in yet. You still called him the Captain, you still stood at attention, still had those natural instincts and yet part of you didn’t want to have to call him Captain. He was such an informal captain, he cared so much about his crew and you wanted to be just as easy with him as he was with you.

“A million…maybe more.” The two of you stood in silence, you passing the crown of flowers through your hands , and noting that a few of the Xaxians were watching intently, but put it off as the fact that you were talking to the well know and amazing James Tiberius Kirk and not any other factor at all.

Jim glanced over at you, a cup of god knows what in his hands. It was ~~amazing~~ horrible that he looked so good in the firelight, the shadows playing with his features. You hated that you found him so attractive, weren’t superior officers supposed to be old, unattractive men? People you didn’t get distracted by?

“This drink is pretty good…” He held out the cup to you, “Wanna try?” you stared at it for a moment, contemplating the pros and cons of drinking from the same cup as your captain but decided it couldn’t do any harm, right? After all he wasn’t ill and it was only a sip.

“Thanks…” You took the cup from him, fingers brushing against his own before you brought the cup up to your mouth and took a sip. You held the cup away from you, coughing slightly at the strength of the alcohol in cup. “Wow…”

“Not much of a drinker?”

“I mean…that’s strong, Ca- Jim..” You had to take a moment to clear your head, Jim laughing lightly at your reaction before taking the cup back and sipping from it himself. He barely flinched.

You looked down at the crown of flowers in your hand and back at the captain. It was more out of instinct, out of an urge, than a thought out process when you placed the crown on his head. It suited him nicely though, the bright blue of the flowers simply matched his eyes (not that you noticed) and it made him seem soft, not that he wasn’t a soft person but…

You watched Jim look up at the flower crown before smiling at you, “I knew you liked me!” You could feel the embarrassment rushing through you. It was definitely _not_ because you liked him.

“It’s just some flowers!” It wasn’t a marriage proposal for goodness sake it was just some flowers! You barely noticed a few of the Xaxians coming towards you, grins on their faces as if they’d just been witness to some amazing event. Which they had, not that you were aware of that though.

“Flowers mean you like someone. Just admit it. You like me!”

“I-“ You were cut off by a strange voice to your left, “Congratulations!” One of the locals was grinning at you, hands clasped together as they looked between you and Kirk with what almost looked like a loving expression. The type of look your academy roommate used to get when watching romantic films.

“What?”

“You don’t know…?” The woman looked between you two with a look that quickly turned to horror at the thought that you’d maybe done something that you didn’t know you’d done. But she realised rather quickly it fell on her to tell you both what had happened. “You’re married.”

“WHAT!” What had you done…


	2. Part 2

“You’re telling us that this is legally binding! Spock, there has to be some…some loophole!” After the surprise of finding out you might be married everyone was hastily shoved back to the Enterprise and you now found yourself sitting down, head in your hands while your captain paced across the floor. Spock was of no help because apparently there was no help to be had. Which was just…great.

“Xaxia is a federation planet, their legal system mixes with ours, their legal marriages are our legal marriages. I’m sorry, Jim, but you’re married. Legally and in most places.” Part of you isn’t sure how you feel. You don’t know your captain well, you aren’t even friends and now your married and there are so many regulations and rules around that.

Your first thought is that he’s not the worst person to be accidentally married to, but that doesn’t mean that either of you want to be married does it? While he might not be quiet the man he was when you were both in the Academy together, that didn’t mean he had any desire for marriage. Marriage a serious commitment. Usually between people who love each other. You certainly don’t love each other.

“Spock…can you leave us for a second?” You look up and watch Spock leave the ready room. Jim walks towards you and crouches in front of you. He doesn’t look mad, he looks like he’s concerned that you might pass out and you suppose that’s what’s always made him such a good captain. He cares about others before himself a lot.

“Hey…so we could get a divorce if you want? But…I was wondering if we could make a go of it? We can’t divorce until we hit a federation outpost anyway…and I know this wasn’t planned and I know we’re not close, but I..” You can tell how hard it is for him to say any of it and you reach out and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“You can tell me…we’re married now.” You try to smile at your own poor attempt at humour. Marriage was a big deal for you it always had been. Marriage had always seemed so solid, so concrete and so unbreakable and even though you and Jim didn’t really know each other the idea of breaking it didn’t quite sit well with you. But at the same time you were freaking out. You were married to your captain. This was not planned. This was not the fairy tale wedding people talked about, it wasn’t about love it was an accident with a fucking flower crown and some stupid alcohol that you didn’t even like!

“I like you…maybe not in a marriage sense quite yet but I do like you and I want to…see how it goes?” It’s not conventional that’s your first thought, but either way you’re going to be married until you can reach the next federation outpost anyway…maybe it’s worth trying, who knows how it could turn out.

“There are rules aren’t there? About living quarters and…that sort of thing I never…never thought I’d need to know them.” It’s your way of saying that you’d like to give it a go…that you found him attractive and maybe…maybe this would work out. But you didn’t know and you certainly didn’t want to bet on it in case it didn’t. Especially considering this was new territory for you both.

Maybe it would be different if you’d known each other well beforehand, but you hadn’t. You’d admired him from afar as a captain and as an attractive human being, even in the Academy you’d found yourself admiring him. Even if he had been more a dick back then than he was now. He’d grown up quite a bit.

“There are…I’d have to look them up. It’s not I, we, planned for this…are you sure about this? I know it’s asking a lot of you to give this a shot and I…I don’t want you to do it because you think you have to.”

“You might be my captain, but you could never get me to do this if I didn’t want to.”

From there the two of you had hunted down Spoke and sat around looking up the regulations surrounding married Starfleet couples. Starfleet had more rules then you thought but the main ones seemed to be that you couldn’t be unprofessional during working hours, that because of that spouses had to share the quarters of the higher ranking crew member so that couples had time together outside of working hours. It was an attempt to keep ‘fraternisation’ at a minimum while work was being conducted. Other than that the rules were rules that most people on the Enterprise would probably ignore anyway. Things like couples counselling with CMO and regular check ups at medical. The most important ones seemed to simply be about accommodation.

You had to share Kirk’s quarters. You weren’t allowed to have your own and as much as you knew Jim would bend the rules to make you more comfortable you wanted to do this properly. You wanted to see where this would go and that wouldn’t happen if the two of you ignored each other every day.

“You know you can stay in your own quarters right…I’m captain I can bend a few rules for my wife” Wife is said with a bit of teasing smile, an attempt at making light of the true severity of what the two of you had done, but you appreciate it.

“As long as you promise not to ravish me in the night I think I can handle sharing quarters.” You find yourself winking at him and joking along as you type in the code to your room or what used to be your room. It’s nice to relax a little…to joke with him. Not to be worried because he’s the captain or be worried because you just got accidentally married less than 3 hours ago.

“You just want my bath tub.” It was a fact that the Captain’s quarters had a shower _and_ a bath tub something no one else had access too. It was certainly a perk of being accidentally married to the Captain.

“Oh, Captain, you figured it out! This was my plan all along!” You’re stuffing the little clothes and items you’ve collected into a few bags. You don’t have much, most of your things are back on Earth in storage waiting for you to come home. There was no point bringing too much with you on the 5 year mission, mostly because there simply was the space. All your things fit into 2 bags.

It was strange to think that this wasn’t your room anymore that the bed wasn’t yours, the shower wasn’t either. That you’d no longer be spending your evenings here, but somewhere else. With someone else.

“Are you sure?”

“Jim. I’m sure.” You know he’s simply concerned but it’s more than a little annoying. The annoyance does dissipate, however, when he takes the bags from you despite your protest and begins walking you to your now shared quarters. His quarters. Your quarters.

Ensigns, commanders and everyone in between stare at the two of you as you walk past. Everyone knows, most likely through the grapevine of gossip that was the enterprise, but it’s unnerving to have so many strange people stare at you when previously no one did.

You try to ignore it, walking side by side with Jim until you come to a door. You’ll have to learn a whole new code you think as you watch his fingers type out a code he is so familiar with. You make a note of it and play the numbers over in your head again and again and again. You don’t want to forget it. You need to get into this place now, it’s your new home away from home.

God, how are you going to tell your family? Should you tell them? What if it doesn’t work out? Maybe you should wait…

“This is…home…” You come back to the present when Jim puts your bags own, and turns to you with arms open wide gesturing at the room around you two.

A big bed, bigger than yours, big enough for two people and room between…a desk and computer screen, a sofa off to the side. A door inside the room you presume leads to a bath room. It’s by no means a luxury room, it’s nothing like an apartment on Earth, but it is better than what you’ve been living in considering his rank. He was the captain after all.

You have no idea what you’re doing and by the look on Jim’s face you’re pretty sure he has no idea what he’s doing either. That’s somehow reassuring.


	3. Part 3

Jim clears out a space for your things in his wardrobe and in his drawers, it reminds you of those times back on Earth where your relationships would grow serious and you’d slowly move little bits into their house. Except this is already serious and it’s all your things. Your underwear next to his, you uniforms next to his, your boots next to his. It’s odd the mix of blue and gold.

“My wardrobe looks like some sort of 21st century nightclub.”

“I’m not going to lie I’m not sure if I like the colour combination, Captain. You might need to get a blue shirt now.” You sat down on ~~his~~ your shared bed, watching him stare at the uniforms. Maybe if it was mixed it would look better rather than one block of gold and one block of blue? Oddly enough the more you stared at it the fonder you became of the colours.

“Or you could get gold?”

“I’d look terrible in gold.” You wouldn’t, but it was funny to watch him turn on you in disbelief. It was like you’d just told him Santa Clause never existed or that no one listened to 21st century music anymore. It was sweet in a way just how offended he seemed for you at the prospect you’d ever look bad, it was a bit of boost to your confidence strangely.

“I don’t think you could look terrible in anything.” It serious, the captain voice had come out, the one that said don’t argue with me because you’ll never win.

“Aww, Captain!”

“Are you calling me captain to annoy me or are you refusing to call me Jim?” The smirk started to pull at his lips, the one that was so infamous when you were both just cadets so many years ago now. Everything about him was infamous back them; the blue of his eyes, the movement of his hips, the taste of his kiss, the smile, the hair. You couldn’t go anywhere on campus without overhearing someone talking about James Tiberius Kirk and his talent in the bed room.

“What if I call you James?” You were sure barely anyone called him James anymore, other than perhaps those reading his official name back to him. You quite liked the thought of calling him something no one else on the ship did. James was a nice name. Classic. Traditional. Some people might call it boring but then the man himself was definitely not boring.

“It’s slightly better than captain seeing as your my new wifey.” In fact he rather liked the way it sounded from you, not that he’d ever admit that. After all it was a bit soon after a surprise marriage to start fawning over you…right? Even if he’d had an interest in you from afar before strange marriages had struck him and you.  

“Wifey?” You brought your fingers up to imitate air quotations at the most ridiculous alternative to wife you’d heard. It was somehow worse than those couples that called each other boo bear and sugar muffin puffin or whatever they called each other.

“Not a fan?”

“Maybe stick to something else, James…” He’s leaning against his desk, hands back on the top of it watching you with that smile. The one you know is incredibly dangerous. The one that has made the strongest of people go giddy. It had to be some sort of charm of his, maybe he wasn’t even human? Maybe James Kirk was half human, half some mysterious race that were naturally charming to the point no one could really resist that smile?

“Alright, _honey_ ”

“Are you intending to make me divorce you?” This sort of relaxed banter is strange to have with the Captain of all people, but it’s nice. It’s nice to smile and laugh and enjoy his company. It helps put the weight of the situation to the back of your mind for the moment, the way he makes light of it, the way you make light of it.

“I’m trying to be sweet!” The old Kirk shines through sometimes you noticed, but he’s slightly different now. Captaincy had mellowed him out, made him more serious…but he still had that old streak through him. Still teased and flirted and laughed. He was still beautiful. You were older too though, no longer the girl bashful from simply looking at Jim Kirk in Xenoanthropology or too scared to talk to your new captain because of an old interest when you were younger. You’re wiser and older and being able to laugh with him is perhaps one of the best developments of growing up.

“The infamous James Tiberius Kirk, sweet?”

“Sometimes I forget we were in the academy together…you know I’m not that bad, right? So what I had sex a few times, I’m a good guy!”

“I know.”

“You were joking?”

“I was joking. Besides so what if you had consensual sex with half the academy population? It’s not like you broke any real hearts…people knew it was just sex.” The one thing that different James Kirk from the other ladies men of the academy was that he was very clear that it was just sex with him and that if someone wanted more…they wouldn’t get it. Gaila was perhaps the only one you remember getting attached to him, they had a brief but longer than typical for Kirk, sexual relationship in which she got a little attached. You had been a sort of friend and had to listen to her talk about him. But she took the ending of it well…she didn’t kill him. But the general rule was that people went to Jim if they wanted a one-night, no strings attached dalliance.

“You were the half I never slept with.”

“I’d like to say I’d remember if we ever had sex so yes, James, you never slept with me and that’s probably a good thing considering our current predicament.” You couldn’t imagine how uncomfortable it could be to accidentally marry an old one-night stand, to be forced together. At least you and Jim had very little previous interaction with each other. You could make your own opinions of each other up.

“Can you imagine? Married to a one-night stand from the Academy?”

“I didn’t have enough for the odds to be in favour of marrying a one-night stand, James.” You hadn’t really slept with lots of people at the academy, you’d dated a few people, had a few little flings here and there, but in general you’d be content with friendships and yourself. Or maybe you told yourself that you were content with that and with unrequited crushes.

“Are you saying I slept with so many people that it was actually probable?” The two of you continued to chat for a while, witty talk putting off the inevitable serious conversation about marriage, life, living together until reaching a federation outpost and then the inevitable discussion as to whether you wanted to stay married or get a divorce. Maybe it would go well and you’d decide to stay married longer or maybe it would be a horrendous experience ending in your transfer to a different ship.

The two of you were lying back on the bed side by side hours later. The bed felt comfier than yours but you weren’t sure if you’d just imagined that.

“You know what I miss?”

“What?”

“The moon, our moon. I miss moonlight filtering in through my window. I miss when it was bright and full. I loved the moon growing up. There was always something so mystical about it.” You turn your head towards him as you talk. Your mind’s eyes imagining the moon, your moon. Not all these strange moons around different planets in different systems. But The Moon. The piece rock songs have been sung about and myths have been written for.

“The moons pretty great…”

“Yeah…” You felt the exhaustion of a long day of ups and downs and accidental marriages finally hit you. Watching him with heavy eyes and the desire to get in your pajamas (that are definitely not the boring ones they give you) and go to sleep.

“Alright, time for bed, Moonbeam.” You watch him sit up and grab a pillow starting towards the sofa in the corner of the room.

“What are you doing?” You’re too tired to question the new name, but not too tired to question why he’s not sleeping in _his_ bed and why he’s going towards the sofa. You sit up to grab his arm as he moves towards the sofa, stopping him from moving any further.

“I’m giving you the bed…?”

“You take the bed, it’s your bed, and I’ll take the sofa.” You move to sit up and get off the bed, but find Jim in front of you, arms crossed. “You’re taking the bed.” You’re not surprised he’s fighting you on this, but it’s the most frustrating thing. It was his room first he got the bed, also he was captain, surely the captain needed to be well rested?

“James…why don’t we just share? I won’t sleep if you’re on the sofa, I’ll feel bad.” You’d toss and turn and worry over it all night and that was the last thing you needed after the most bizarre day of your life.

“I just…I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” It’s sweet that he’s considering how you might feel about sharing a bed with your captain, but you’re too tired to care about it and you’re both adults. It’s not like you’re adolescents. You can share a bed and not make it weird.

“The only thing that’ll make me uncomfortable is you on that sofa.” You watch him relent and place the pillow back where it belonged on the bed.

You move away to grab your pajamas changing in the bathroom, much bigger than yours and with that notorious bath tub. He’s in bed when you walk back out, lying on his back staring at the ceiling. You slide into the other side, lying on your side and staring at the door. It’s a little awkward, but exhaustion quickly overrides any discomfort and you find yourself falling asleep without much thought to Jim lying next to you.


	4. Part 4

You start to wake up, keeping your eyes closed and curling further into the pillow underneath your head, nice smelling and soft, warm. You feel content and happy and you really don’t want to wake up and report to the med bay only to deal with Ensigns with burns and bruises and a grumpy Bones. It’s not until you realise that the pillow is moving slowly up and down and that the nice smell is more like someone’s aftershave than fabric conditioner that you open your eyes.

You’re greeted by the sight of a chest, your eyes follow it up a neck to a familiar face which is fast asleep still. Jim. You’re not that surprised, and you rationalise that people gravitate towards each other when they’re asleep and that it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. But that doesn’t stop the mild embarrassment at the arm tightly wound around your waist or the way your legs are twisted between his.

Seeing Jim asleep is something you never thought you’d see and it’s a strange experience. The lines that usually line his face whether from concern for his crew or from laughter are gone and eased away, he’s drooling slightly not that you would let him know that (you’re not sure he’d appreciate you point out that he drools in his sleep), and he’s hair has taken on an unruly quality that perhaps explains why he always looks so well kept during the day. You had always assumed his hair wasn’t naturally that neat.

“James…” You push yourself to yours knees, the arm around your waist falling away to the mattress. You shake him lightly after looking at the clock which indicates that you’re both due for your shifts, not that the Captain got much free time anyway. He was on shift from early in the morning till late in the evening and you didn’t envy that fact.

Jim rolls over and away from you, arm underneath his head, still asleep. He makes a whiny sort of noise that makes you laugh lightly under your breath. You take a minute to admire his bare back (against your better judgement and morals), the plans of strong muscle and the little freckles and marks. You’re surprised to see scars, but then you supposed he grew up without the sort of medical care you found in Star Fleet which stopped most scars from occurring.

“James.” You try harder, hands pressing against warm skin and shaking him as you speak louder. If you’re late to the med bay then Leonard will have your hide, accidental marriage or not, and you’d feel bad if you just left Jim asleep without trying. You hate that you like the feeling of his warm skin, it makes you feel creepy even though you know it’s just a natural appreciation of being close to someone else.

“What…” You move away as he rolls back onto his back blinking up at you with tired blue eyes. He slowly sits himself up, a hand running through his already unruly hair as he finally comprehends that your sat there watching him in your pajamas.

“Hi…” You watch him look at the clock, frowning at the time before smiling over at you tiredly. There’s something uncomfortable domestic about the whole thing and yet you quite like it. You quite like not waking up to an empty bed and rather waking up warm and safe. Even if it’s with your Captain who you’ve had but a mere 5 or so conversations with.

“Hi, Moonbeam.”

“Are you going to call me that forever now?” You don’t dislike it, there’s something nice about him listening to you and making a name based upon that, but there’s also something strangely intimidate about it that you’re not quite prepared for.

“Unless you’d prefer ‘Wifey’?”

“ _Anything_ , but Wifey.” You think you can handle Moonbeam better than Wifey, even if he uses it in front of people. Wifey just continues to remind everyone that the Captain accidentally married the head nurse and that the two of you are now living in the same quarters. Moonbeam while somewhat cheesy at least could have been given to you by a friend and not a surprise husband.

Now he’s awake you leave him to whatever morning rituals he has, grabbing your uniform and having a brief shower. Even his shower was better than yours. The perks of being captain for sure. You’re pulling your regulation boots on when he finally gets out of bed, pajama trousers slung low over his hips. You do your best not to stare, concentrating a little too hard on the zipper of your boots.

“I’m going…I’ll be in the med bay if you need me, James.” You grab your communicator off the desk and look up at him briefly to say goodbye, he waves a hand at you too tired to hold a conversation and you leave.

It’s an uncomfortable sort of leaving, to leave someone else’s room, but it’s your room too now…but people look at you as if it wasn’t, they look at you as if you’d just had some fling with the captain, as if you’re walking down the corridor in yesterday’s clothes with your hair a mess. You try to ignore it as you take the turbo lift down to the level the med bay is on.

It’s obvious that everyone knows what happened; some make jokes as you walk past and others give you more respect than you’d ever received as if they thought you might set the captain on them like some sort of guard dog. You don’t like that the dynamic around you has changed. That you can’t walk down the corridor without people noticing you, now they all notice you because they know you’re the person who accidentally married the bloody captain.

You’re nearing the med bay when you pass an ensign who calls out to you, “Hi, Mrs Kirk.” It’s teasing and you don’t know the ensign making it more than a little uncomfortable but you choose to ignore it and the way Mrs. Kirk doesn’t sound that bad. You don’t need to start a fight before you get on your shift.

“If it isn’t Mrs James Tiberius Kirk!” You open the doors to the med bay being created by Leonard’s surprisingly chipper voice, usually he was grumpy and dower, but he seemed to revel in perhaps what he assumed was going to be your misery.

“Not you too, Leonard!” You ignored the glances of the other nurses and doctors and joined Leonard by an empty bed where he seemed to be going over some charts. You had been friends with Leonard since he became your CMO, even if he was a hard arse he was a good doctor and he’d sneak you bourbon if you were having a bad day.

“Hey, you were the one that drank from his cup and gave him a flower crown, not me, kid”

“I know…Never let me do anything on a strange planet without asking about marriage customs first.” You jumped up to sit on the bed, heaving a sigh. It was nice to be around someone else to talk about this. Spock was so clinical when tell you, you were legally married and Jim was in the same situation. But Leonard wasn’t. You could just speak.

“You couldn’t have known…so what are you and Jim doing about it? Word is you’re in his quarters now…” You figured some of the nurses saw you leaving earlier and probably scurried off to gossip. You didn’t blame them, part of what kept things interesting on a star ship was the gossip and the drama that unfolded because of it.

“We’re trying…we don’t hit the next federation outpost for weeks and we figured we try it out…” Take marriage for a test drive…you weren’t entirely sure what you were expecting from it. Were you waiting for it to fail to give you a legitimate reason to call it off or where you hoping it would go well and a commitment that was made on accident would become something more important, something more emotional?

“See if marriage suits you?”

“Sort of. It’s strange. Waking up with someone you barely know.” Nice, however, to wake up to someone else in the bed. A warm body, even if he drools in his sleep.

“Are you comfortable staying with him, kid? He’s not making you?” You scoff at the suggestion that Jim Kirk of all people would force you to stay in the safe bed let alone room as him. The man had some bizarrely strong sense of honour that dictated he had to treat you with the most ridiculous amount of care and respect. ‘I’ll take the sofa’, was still the most ridiculous statement you’d heard since being around him.

“Of course he’s not making me, Leonard…I agreed and I’m not uncomfortable, it’s just strange…different quarters, no longer a single person space…it’s all strange. For god’s sake the man’s married to me!” You still find it bizarre to think that you’re married. No ceremony you recognise, no rings, no nothing and in a way it doesn’t even feel real. But you know it is. That underlying anxiety surrounding it is always present reminding you that this is very much real and very much legal.

“I never thought I’d see the day James Kirk got married and yet you were both stupid enough to get married without realising it.”

“I hate you.” You knew you were never going to live down the fact you’d accidentally gotten married, whether a divorce was in your future or not. No one would ever forget that you went to Xaxia and accidentally got married. Who makes marriage about an alcoholic beverage and a flower crown anyway?!

“I’m just here to offer witty sarcasm and maybe some marital advice, like make sure you always have alcohol.”

“Wow, someone’s pessimistic.”

“Have you met my ex-wife?”

 


	5. Part 5

A week went by rather quickly. You learnt that Jim had a bad habit of leaving laundry on the floor, that he tried his best to get time free to have lunch with you where you’d discuss each other. He’d ask you questions about growing up and what books or movies you liked and take a genuine interest which was so strange at first. Originally it had felt a little bit like an interrogation, but that had gone away over the week and talking with him became almost natural.

He still called you Moonbeam.

You still shared a bed but each evening and each morning became more natural. Waking up to him had become a ritual, he was there and he would roll over when you tried to wake him up, he’d eventually get up and smile at you. On the odd occasion he’d be up before you, dressed and energetic, in some cases he tickled you awake and you claimed you hated him. More and more you fell asleep closer to each other, the gap between the two of you slowly closing until you fell asleep with an arm around your waist and your cheek pressed against his chest. It almost seemed normal until you started thinking about it too hard. Then you realised that this whole situation wasn’t really normal, but maybe that was okay.

Do things really need to be normal for them to be good and right?

A week in and a lot of the crew had grown used to the new development, while people were still curious they didn’t outright stare at you in the corridors nor did they make jokes or comments when you walked past. In general people had calmed down and it made things a lot less uncomfortable when you only had to deal with close friends asking questions and making comments.

You were sealing a wound shut on one of the newbies from engineering when Uhura walked in. You’d been friends with Nyota since the academy, having lived next to each other. Nyota had needed someone to vent to about Gaila and the men she brought back and you needed help with your xenolinguistics class so it worked out all in all and the two of you had grown close. You were still close, spending lunches and dinners together, shore leave was spent together in bars watching Chekov try and often fail at seducing people.

“I thought you were on shift?” You ask her, she’s usually on the bridge this time of day monitoring communications even if sometimes there’s nothing to monitor. You’d listened to enough rants about how boring it could get to know that it wasn’t quite as busy as the med bay was. At least you always had at least one injury or sickness to handle.

“We’re going on an away mission…I decided to come tell you because otherwise you’d worry.”

“I’ll worry anyway. Who’s going?” You finish with the red shirt, telling him he can leave and begin cleaning up the space where he’d been, remaking the medical bed. You know that certain people, Jim for example, always go on away missions and it worried you because Jim was notorious for getting hurt on every single one. To varying degrees. You know him now, he’s more than just your captain and you’re worried he might get himself killed for the second time.

“Myself, Spock, the Captain, a few of the security people, Leonard.”

“Which means I put you in charge of my med bay.” You watch Leonard leave his office, grumpy as per usual, phaser at his side. He hated away missions but he was also one of the most qualified doctors on the ship.

“The nurse? You do have other doctors here.”

“But I trust you. Also these lot are all bloodsucking bastards.”

“You should probably keep that opinion to yourself, Len.” You watch a few of the doctors’ glare at him due to his words. But agreed with him in a way. A lot of the doctors were very…stuck up. They cared more about getting people out of med bay then actually looking after them. Not all of them were bad, but then you supposed Leonard had a point in picking someone he trusted to boss everyone about in his absence.

“We have to go…I’ll see you at dinner?”

“Of course you will, Nyota.” She leaves first, long ponytail swinging behind. You’re sure she’s going along because of some communication issue, but that doesn’t mean that she’s entirely safe. It’s discomforting to think that she might not actually be there at dinner that rather she’d be in the med bay but you tell yourself it’s just that voice called fear talking and not rationality.

Leonard lingers a moment, an uncharacteristic softness to him, hand patting you on the shoulder, “I’ll make sure your husband doesn’t die.” It’s said as a joke, a quirk of a lip, a lifted eyebrow. But you know he knows you’re worried about Jim. You won’t admit it. You won’t admit that after just a week you’re terrified of him leaving…but he knows. You don’t need to say anything. Leonard always knew.

“Don’t die either, Len.”

“I’ll try not to, kid.” You hate when he calls you kid, but in that moment it’s a bittersweet sort of hate. The sort that reminds you that you’d miss it if he wasn’t there to call you that anymore.

Watching people walk away is hard. Part of you is glad Jim didn’t come to say goodbye to you. Not sure you could watch another person walk away into uncertainty. It also means you can trick yourself into believing that he didn’t say goodbye because he knew nothing would happen, because the away mission would be simple and harmless.

You tried to distract yourself while they were gone, spending time reorganising supplies, caring for Engineers who’d hurt themselves…but there was always an awareness in the back of your mind that they were all down on a planet where they could get hurt. It bothered you, you realised, not just because you had friends down there, but because you had Jim down there.

It was something you’d been attempting to ignore. To put off thinking about but with the med bay quiet and with worry niggling at you it was becoming harder to ignore. You’d always been attracted to Jim, in the academy he’d been unattainable and beautiful, once he became captain it only increased. But the past week…had made you attracted to him in a different regard. He wasn’t just physically beautiful; he was kind and silly and fun…he was dreadfully intelligent and could be irritating as well. You knew it had started to go past base attraction. You liked him. You didn’t want to admit how much but you liked him.

You liked how warm he was. You liked how comforting sleeping in the same bed with him is. You liked how much respect he had for you and everyone. You liked that he called you Moonbeam and that he wanted to give this marriage thing ago. You liked how blue his eyes were. You liked the way his hair fell in his face. You liked when he talked about himself and told you stories or discussed xenoanthropology with you. You liked him. More than you’d admit it.

It wasn’t just friendly admiration…you knew that. It was the warmth in your chest, those moments of pure affection you felt for him. It was something much more romantic…if not dissimilar. It was more than a little terrifying to be married to someone you’d started to fall for and had no idea of knowing if that person felt the same.

Your comm rang out and you grabbed, “Y/L/N, here” You could hear phaser fire and the sound of running feet through what sounded like foliage.

“Kid! Get the med bay ready!”

“What happened?!” You turn to tell junior nurses and the doctors to prep for whatever might come through those doors. It wasn’t the first time you’d been in the med bay during an emergency but every time was just as nerve wrecking as the last. That jolt of adrenaline at knowing someone needed your help, the adrenaline that had kept you on your feet for 24 hours once during an outbreak of the flu.

“It’s Jim.” You don’t need to hear any more than that, you can’t hear any more than that. It’s like you’re underwater for a moment, the panic dulling the sounds you hear and it takes a nurse bumping into you for you to come to your sense and begin helping despite not knowing what Leonard would need, what was wrong with Jim.

You swear your heart stops when he comes through the doors on a stretcher, he’s conscious you can see that but he’s barely aware and what awareness he has seems to be panic. He is bloodied and hurt and you try not to look at the wounds as you help Leonard get him onto a medical bed.

“Moonbeam…” A weak hand grabs your uniform as you turn to call out to a nurse standing nearby. He’s grasping it so weakly that you could ignore it, but you don’t. He’s blinking up at you barely aware of his surroundings and you for go your job to grasp that hand with your own and stand by his head.

“Leonard?”

“You keep him calm and I’ll fix him up, kid.” He flickers a glance up at you before returning to his work.

You feel your stomach turn as you look at the blood, the open wounds across his torso, before you look away and focus on his face. Your free hand pushing hair from his face and gently moving the back of your hand across his cheek, calming, soothing. He can’t go into shock you realise and the thought that he could terrifies you.

“I’m right here, James…I’m not going anywhere.” You weren’t. You weren’t. Fear wouldn’t let you leave him. Wouldn’t let you move. A week and he’d captured you in his net and that thought that he might let you go by leaving hurt so badly.


	6. Part 6

He’s delirious and barely conscious for 2 days. Being kept hydrated by a drip and fed in the few moments he’s awake enough to swallow food. He won’t remember those 2 days far too delirious and disorientated to commit anything to memory. But you’ll remember that’s a fact you’re well aware of.

You’ll remember the fever breaking and the bruises that grew worse with time. You’ll remember the delirious mumbling and the fear of him not waking up or wasting away in a medical bed rather than being your every vibrant captain. You’ll remember falling asleep in a chair nearby and barely leaving the med bay despite working there every day. You’ll remember the panic when fever struck and the fear of infection. You’ll remember Leonard’s extra gruffness and the stiffening of your bones from rarely moving from your spot.

But he won’t remember any of it. Part of you is calmed by that fact. That he won’t remember your panic stricken face or your frustrated tears when no one else was around in the dead of night. That he won’t lecture you on staying there when you could go back to your shared quarters, take a bath, and sleep in a large bed. That he won’t see how much you’ve come to care for him and how terrified you’ve been at the prospect of losing him before anything has really come of this stupid marriage.

Over the 2 days you’ve come to terms with the fact that you are most certainly falling for Jim. That you feel a great amount of affection for him, and that it’s not entirely friendly. You don’t want to use the term love…you’re not sure it’s quite there yet, but it’s closing in and it’s terrifying. The prospect that you are falling in love with a man known for being reckless and risking his life at every point possible. That you are falling in love with someone who may never feel the same. That you may love him and still deal with a divorce that you don’t entirely want. The whole thing is a mess, but you can’t bring yourself to wish this had never happened. That you’d never joined the Enterprise or never accidentally gotten married to James Tiberius Kirk of all people.

 It was an uncomfortable groan that made you look up from where you were sat staring at emails and bits of work on your PADD. You’d heard the noise multiple times before it usually signalled that Jim was awake…usually he was delirious and barely there when he woke up.

You put your PADD down to check on him, expecting that mile long stare, the look of a man barely registering his surroundings and instead found yourself faced with Jim looking right at you, more aware than you’d seen him in 2 days. He still looked tired and unwell, an even paler colour to his skin, and dark circles and bruises stark against it.

“James?”

“How…how long was I…?” You help him sit up, mindful of the still raw wound on his stomach. It might have been sealed but it wasn’t completely healed especially with how big it was. It’s hard to see him weak, but it’s a relief to see him awake and aware and not passed out still.

“2 days.”

“Shit.” _Yeah, my sentiment exactly_ you thought. Shit was accurate, 2 days the ship went without its captain, 2 days friends went without him, 2 days you spent realising just how much you cared and just how terrifying that is.

“I was scared, James…you weren’t waking up and when you did…” You’re not sure why you’re telling him. He doesn’t need to know how worried you were but you felt safe around Jim and maybe telling him would relieve the ache. You sit on the edge of the bed, hands playing with the hem of your uniform.

A hand makes its way to yours, grabbing one of your hands and pulling it from your lap. His hand was so much bigger than yours, rougher, he had scars you’d never noticed before. Little ones across his knuckles. You watched Jim interlock your fingers together, squeezing your hand in a reassuring way.

“Moonbeam…I’m sorry, It’s the reality of my job…I get hurt.”

“I know that, don’t you think I know that? That doesn’t stop the fact that I…that I care and that it sucks to spend 2 days waiting for you to wake up.” You briefly think that maybe this is your first fight. Not a proper one, but this is still a fight in many ways. He expects you to simply accept it and you expect him to understand that you worried and that you were scared and that you couldn’t help that fact. Just because you understood his job was a risky one didn’t mean you wouldn’t worry. That wasn’t how things worked.

You look away from him, watching the rest of the med bay bustle about. You’re sure you look pissed off but you’re not angry at him. You’re angry at this whole situation.

“You were here for 2 days?”

“Yes.” You glance over at him to see a smile curling at his lips and you hate it. You hate that it makes you feel warm when you’ve been so worried. You hate that it reaches the blue of his eyes. You hate that it makes you smile back, your fingers tightening against Jim’s.

“I see sleeping beauty has finally awoken.” You pull your hand away from his on instinct when you hear Leonard’s voice come round the corner.

“Hey, Bones”

Moving off the bed you watch Leonard move a tri-corder over Jim before grabbing a hypospray from seemingly nowhere.

“No, Bones!” Leonard looks back at you with a sigh and Jim’s protest and you walk forward to take the hypospray in question from the man. You know that Leonard is unnecessarily rough with people with the hyposprays and you assumed that Jim had been on the receiving end of that more often than not.

He gives you the most pathetic look, but tilts his head to the side anyway, eyes closed waiting for the inevitable pain…which doesn’t really come. There’s a slight prick as you press it to his neck followed by you massaging the spot with your fingers rubbing any pain away.

“Can you always give me hyposprays? Bones, why can’t you be that gentle?!” You catch Leonard scowling at you for doing it so gently, knowing that Jim will avoid him even further when it comes to medical matters now.

“He’s been doing it roughly on purpose for years. He hates people.”

“Anyway, you’re free to go, Jim. But you better take it easy.”

“I don’t think I can do anything but, Bones.” You watch him struggle out of the bed, and reach forward with a hand wrapping around his arm to help him. He’s still very delicate on his feet and you’re sure that even Jim won’t push it too far at this point in time.

“I’ll help you get back, you need a wash and some new clothes.” He still in his original tattered clothes, no one wanted to undress while he was unconscious and you hadn’t expected him to be out for 2 whole days.

“Are you saying I smell?”

“James.” Your disapproving tone shuts him up quickly and you continue to hold his arm as the two of you make your way out of the med bay.

It is slow going. With a still delicate torso Jim walks incredibly slowly and you match his pace. You don’t want him to rush in case he does more damage and it doubles the time it would usual take to get from the med bay to your shared quarters. The people you pass seem grateful to see their captain alive and walking even if he was obviously not in full health quite yet.

You press the code for the door and help him inside and onto the edge of the bed. “Are you okay?” He’s breathing heavy and gritting his teeth, pretending that it doesn’t hurt quite as much as it does. You push hair out of his face gently, he’s sweating slightly from the exertion. 

“I’m fine…”

“Do you want me to run you a bath? It might be easier than standing up in the shower…?” You know you should be getting back to the med bay, but part of you knows you can argue that Jim is still a patient and thus helping him is technically your job. It just happens that you’re more invested in his comfort than you are with most patients.

“Please, Moonbeam.” He’s trying to smile but it’s not quite reaching his eyes. You’re not sure if watching him in pain is worse than watching him sleep nonstop.

You leave to run the bath, trying to make sure it’s warm enough but not too hot to hurt him further. It’s obvious he doesn’t have baths very often, there’s no bubble bath in sight and you attempt to use shower gel as an alternative. It makes some bubbles, but it’s not to the standard you would expect. But then most of you didn’t even have the option to have a bath in space, so surely it’s better than nothing.

He’s struggling out of his tattered shirt when you walk back into the main area, the shirt stuck between his shoulders and upper arms. It’s obvious that it’s hurting him to try and you overcome any personal embarrassment in favour of reminding yourself that you’re a nurse first and you’ve helped people out of clothes and into baths before. Maybe not in space, but this shouldn’t be any different.

You reach for the shirt, helping slip it over his head and throwing it in the corner, before reaching for his trousers. He flinches back like you’ve shocked him.

“You need help, Jim. I won’t look, but you need help.” You know it’s not that he doesn’t want the help, but it’s some natural aversion to you doing this. You’re sure it’s not from self-consciousness but rather a discomfort at you seeing him this way.

You avoid looking at anywhere but the floor as you help him out of the rest of his clothes before standing and helping a very naked Jim to the bath. You succeed in not seeing anything too personal knowing that he’d definitely be uncomfortable and that was most certainly not your aim.

“I’ll leave you to it…if you need anything, I’m here.” You leave him relaxing in the warm water, a sigh of relief falling from his lips and his head leant back. You know that water would have helped with some of the aches he had. It was nice to help.


	7. Part 7

It’s a few weeks later, and much closer to that federation outpost and your impending decision surrounding you marriage. Jim was back to his usual teasing and vibrant self. He didn’t need you to help him get dressed anymore, and despite the awkwardness that had prevailed during those days of looking after him it did bring the two of you closer.

All in all life with Jim and life on the Enterprise was returning to a sort of normalcy after everything that had happened. Normalcy for you wasn’t necessarily normal, but it was growing increasingly domestic. You’d spent a great deal of your time being a doting nurse and fitting a terrible stereotypical wife. After healing, however, roles had begun to reverse.

Jim would bring lunch to you if you were stuck in the med bay because of an emergency, he would make the bed and change the sheets. He would do laundry and clean rather than letting you do it. He would ask you if you needed anything. He had started to become a doting husband figure and it was entirely too strange.

Everyone, even the captain, had certain days off from work. Despite all odds, and most likely due to some sort of interference from Jim, the two of you had the same day off each week…although on a space ship the weeks didn’t really seem to have days anymore. It was strange, how you could go from knowing the days and whether it was morning or night to simply accepting that everything blurred into one.

“James, I need to go do the laundry!” You were currently being held hostage by your captain in a very warm bed. With the weeks came a sort of friendship and comfort around each other that meant Jim was all the more teasing and all the more tactile. Hence the arms right around your waist, and the legs keeping you from moving away despite every attempt to get up and out of that bed.

“Moonbeam it’s our day off…can’t we just watch old vids and eat replicator popcorn?” It was incredibly tempting especially because the bed was arm and Jim was warm and he was doing that whiney begging voice. The one you were sure barely anyone had ever heard but that was really hard to resist.

“Ugh…fine.”

You found yourself no longer struggling allowing yourself to be drawn back full into the bed and wondered how you’d reached this point. How you’d fallen for your captain after accidentally marrying him, to the point that you could barely disagree with him on some points? How had you gotten this attached this quickly? How come you feared the possibility of a divorce and no longer being around him anymore?

You weren’t actually sure you could sleep on your own anymore. There was a routine in sleeping in the same bed with someone, the taking turns to get changed for the evening, the conversations about your days, the warmth of another person, the reassurance that you weren’t alone, the sound of their breathing and the way the felt when you cuddled up next to them. You weren’t entirely sure you’d be able to sleep if the two of you parted ways.

You snuggled back into the warm covers and followed Jim with your eyes as he got up and pottered about, replicating popcorn and all sorts of sweets (more than you thought possible, obviously Scotty had been improving the replicators), before searching what you could only assume was his own personal archive of movies that he’d stored on his PADD. You knew that Jim, much like yourself, enjoyed classical music, musical from a few centuries back, and you assumed that his taste in vids was much the same.

It was hilarious just watching him attempt to sort out a bigger display, he wasn’t an engineer or a technician and it was messy and it took about 5 attempts to get sound and 3 attempts to get a picture, but he succeeded in the end.

“What’s your poison, Moonbeam? Horror? Romantic Comedies? Fantasy?”

“Anything, but horror, we deal with enough terrifying shit every day.”

“Sci-fi horror is definitely off the table.”

The best thing, you decided, about Jim was that he made decisions and he made them quickly. You’d in the past struggled to watch movies with people with neither of you being able to make a decision about what to watch, but Jim wasn’t like that. He listened to what you did or did not want to watch genre wise and then made a decision based on that.

“So what even is this?” You asked as he brought the replicated snacks over the bed, before curl under the covers again himself.

“Dogfight.”

“What’s it about?” You took a handful of popcorn before pressing against Jim’s side, shoulder to shoulder. It was obviously an  _old_ movie, perhaps 20th century? Maybe 21st? But in your experience there was something enjoyably bad about those movies, the limitations and what people made with them, the lack of knowledge about space and science was also quite funny. The assumptions people always seemed to make about the future that never quite panned out, but sometimes got close.

“This marine and this girl and you’ll just have to watch.”

You had never imagined that you’d be watching an old movie in bed with James Tiberius Kirk when you were in the academy or even when you’d first joined the Enterprise. Not only did it seem too domestic for Jim, the Jim you had heard about back then, but the thought that it would be you in that situation seemed so utterly bizarre.

“If he likes her why won’t he accept it? Why does he hurt her?”

“Because wife of mine, he’s a dick and he needs to go through some stuff and grow up…”

“Is there a happy ending?” You look up at Jim, taking his attention away from the screen to look at you.

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” He gives you that teasing grin before turning back to the vid and you think that maybe waiting and seeing applies to your situation too. Maybe worrying about how Jim feels and what decision he wants to make in the next few days when you finally hit that federation outpost is ridiculous. Maybe it’s just about waiting and seeing because things can change in the blink of an eye. You know how you feel.

You know that you want to remain married, treating it more as a budding relationship than a marriage. You know that you want to continue sharing quarters and waking up to him. You want to keep this routine you’ve gotten, the sharing of responsibilities, the lunches, the coming back after a long shift to another person.

You know you can’t guarantee he feels the same. While you feel romantic feelings deep in your gut, Jim could simply want to be your friend and if that is the way it is there’s nothing you can do, but accept it and let it happen. If he wants a divorce who are you to stop him?

Wait and see was very fitting you decided.

“What do you want to watch now?”

When you didn’t answer Jim looked down at you realising that you had fallen asleep. The warmth of the bed, the soothing nature of being curled up with another person had led to you slumbering against him, cheek pressed against his shoulder, mouth open just so as you breathed evenly.

He settled down further into the bed, carefully pulling you against him before reaching for the tiny control and selecting another movie. He had to admit…that prospect of not being married to you anymore upset him. He just hoped you felt the same way. He wanted to explore your relationship more. He wanted you around. He could feel the deep well of affection for you in his chest whenever he even thought of you.

Divorce was just…not what he wanted. He had never really wanted it except for the initial panic that had set in when he’d been told he’d married the head nurse of his ship who he barely knew.


	8. Part 8

You were nervous as the Enterprise docked at Pittsburgh, a terrible name for a federation outpost, you and Jim had to make a decision while you were here. If you wanted to call this marriage off legally it would have to be down now or else it’d be another month or so before you could do it. Not that you wanted to call it off.

6 weeks was not a long time, but you had not only gotten attached to Jim in that time, but you’d fallen in, what you could only be described as, love with him. He made you happy, happy to go to your shift and deal with idiots and happy to come back at the end of the shift. Happy to spend time with people. Happy with being in space when everything seemed so directionless. Jim gave you a connection, a home, a direction.

He gave you a purpose outside of your job. He gave you someone to look forward too. So the prospect of having a discussion that could end that…was terrifying.

You waited for people to begin leaving the ship before making your way to the bridge where you were sure you’d find Jim until the very last minute. He had a reputation for staying on the ship as much as he could even when there was another option.

You smiled at Nyota and nodded at Spock as you passed them on their way off of the bridge. Jim was the last person there, sat in his chair as per usual staring out of the large window. There was something about Jim when he was in that chair, something that made him captain. He was normally so friendly and informal, but that chair gave him a different air about him. Something with a lot more authority.

“James…” There’s an unspoken question when you speak. ‘ _What are we going to do?_ ’ Does he still want to be married? Does he have any feelings for you past friendship? Are you going to give it a try? To try for something more romantic.

“Hey, Moonbeam” His smile is just as worried as you walk over to him, perching yourself on the arm of his chair. _The_ chair. You can’t imagine not having him call you Moonbeam. You can’t imagine hearing it and feeling heartbroken either. The name had become a point of affection for you, it made your heart lift and your stomach buzz.

“So…”

“So.” The two of you stare at each other for a while before a hand reaches for your own and Jim holds it in his lap. You hope that’s a good sign…but you’re worried that it just means that he’s trying to break it to you gently.

“James…what are you thinking?” You don’t want to speak first, scared that bearing your soul would only end badly. You want him to tell you first.

A thumb brushes against the back of your hand, it’s soothing and you take the time to focus on it. Focus on the little touches the two of you have shared. “Moonbeam…Y/N…I like you and when I say that I mean that I am attracted to you and I have….i’ve fallen for you. I don’t want a divorce…I want us to just treat this like dating and see where it goes. I don’t want to wake up without you and that terrifies me…but I love you and I love being married to you as strange as it is.”

It’s like a weight has been lifted when you hear him speak. He’s nervous and he’s babbling and it’s so obvious that feelings, real, solid feelings aren’t something he’s used to expressing, but he does. He tells you and hearing that he feels the same that he wants to keep this marriage, to treat it as a dating experience and see if it goes further is amazing.

You let out a massive sigh of relief, slumping slightly, before tightening your grip on his hand and looking him in the eye, those blue, blue eyes. “I love you too, James Tiberius Kirk…I want to see where it goes and I…I don’t want to be without you and it’s terrifying that 6 weeks has done this but…”

“But?”

“But I kind of love it.” You love how he makes you feel, how giddy, how happy, how content. You love feeling that rush of affection in your chest. You love seeing him smile and you love the blue of his eyes. You love everything about it, terrifying as it is.

You slide off the chair arm and carefully into his lap, arms wrapping around his shoulders instead of holding his hands. His come to rest around your back, drawing you tighter to him and you feel an appreciation for this moment, for the closeness and the truth. The removal of all that worry and all that fear.

You press a kiss to the tip of his nose. It felt strange to kiss him in anyway. It was adorable the way his nose scrunched before he pressed a kiss to your cheek. A kiss to his chin. A kiss to your forehead.

“Are you ever going to kiss me?” He’s teasing you, a little smirk and a waggle of his eyebrows has you contemplating just leaving him there. But the desire to kiss him properly, to press your lips to his for the first time overrides any desire to teach him a lesson.

You press your lips against his finally, firm but not rough. His lips are slightly chapped and plumper than you expected. It is not some mythical magical experience, there are no fireworks, but there are happy butterflies in your stomach and a pleasant affectionate buzz in your chest at the way he pulls your closer and swipes his tongue across the seam of your lips.

You realise in that moment that kisses and love do not need to be magical. The companionship, the contact, the affection, it is all amazing on its own without some fairy-tale style occurrence. Perhaps this is what those fireworks were supposed to feel like, a buzzing excitement, the affection for another person. The taste of someone’s lips and the playful nip to your lip. The hands against your waist and the hair beneath your fingers.


	9. Part 9| Epilogue

You and Jim had been together for a year now, after the accidental marriage, after deciding to stay together you’d done so and it had been great. Old vids on your days off and looking after him when he was reckless. Being brought lunch when you were stuck in med bay. Your relationship had grown from strength to strength. You were ‘happily married’ even if you had been treating it more like dating than marriage. But it had worked.

You had grown closer, learnt more about each other, and even had vid calls with each other’s parents back on Earth. You woke up each morning to sight of James Tiberius Kirk and went to sleep each night to the same. You loved it and you loved him and in your head you contemplated the idea of a proper marriage.

A proper wedding, all that pomp and ceremony…not a random alien marriage without realising you were doing it.

It wasn’t uncommon for you to be called to the bridge, but to be called there and to find everyone else gone was a strange occurrence. It hadn’t been empty since the last stop you’d made to grab supplies and rest for a few days.

“James?” He wasn’t in his chair, but rather standing in the middle of the room, hands behind his back. The smile on his face was one that you’d only ever seen when he had something planned. Whether that something was good or bad only time would tell, but you hated that smile because it meant a surprise that you were probably not prepared for.

“Hey, Moonbeam, light of my life, darling wifey.” It was bad sign when Jim Kirk started listing off more names for you than just Moonbeam.

“I thought I told you to never call me wifey?” You raise an eyebrow at him as you walk closer, coming to stop in front of him with your hands on your hips. You’ve had a long shift and part of you just wanted for him to get it over and done with so you could go get out of your uniform and maybe take advantage of having access to his bath tub. But part of you was filled with a familiar excitement that Jim always seemed to draw from you.

“Yes, you did…but maybe just this once I’m allowed to?” You’re about to ask him what makes him think that, until he’s holding out a little box. A jewellery box. The question dies before it can even be formed by your lips. “Take it…have a look.” It’s a shaky hand of yours that reaches out for it and takes it into your own.

It clicks open to reveal to solid bands of gold, you look up at him. “I figured we could make it official…wedding bands…since we didn’t really have a conventional marriage. I figured we could do all the ceremony and stuff after we get back to earth…I know it is a few years, but family…”

The rings are simply wedding bands but it’s the surprise, the consideration, the meaning that makes them so important. He wants to make this marriage real for the both of you. With Earth traditions. With things that mean something to the both you.

“Oh…James.” You grab his hand pulling him towards you, before taking one of the rings, the one obviously meant for his fingers. You watch the gold band slide onto his left hand and suddenly what happened a year ago feels so much realer.

“I love you.” He takes your ring and does the same to you, the weight is strange and yet reassuring. You suddenly understand why it had never felt real before. Because before there was nothing physical tying the two of you together. It was simply a law, a rule. There was nothing physical about it. Now there’s rings, rings which say you’re a wife and he’s a husband.

“I love you too.”

You don’t care that it’s another few years before your back on earth and can properly celebrate with your family. All you care about is that you’re happy, he’s happy and there’s rings now. Simple but perfect and on your hand.


End file.
